Thursday, November 8, 2012

Sweet Home Colorado!

Well, okay. Not really. But I wish.
I've only been here since yesterday, but I LOVE IT!  Minus the cold. That part sucks. But I'm sure I can get used to it. Seriously, though. The mountains are beautiful and dusted with snow on top and they look like Christmas. I'll take pictures of some here soon and put them up. They are so pretty though. The trees are gorgeous, even! If I could stay here, I so would. Go look up pictures of Colorado. Seriously. Those aren't just cliche pictures. That's SERIOUSLY what it looks like. It's absolutely breathtaking!

Anyway, besides the perfect view, my phone has absolutely zero signal. At first, I was bummed about it. But now that I've gone a full day without someone texting me about something stupid, I'm loving it. I have the ability to talk to Trey when I need to, so I don't have to have my phone constantly. So it's rather nice. And quiet (save for the MiniButt) which I don't get to experience very often. I am falling in love with this place. I really don't want to go back. However, that's where Trey's job is. Moving right now would be of utmost inconvenience.

Oh, and the weather. Holy crap. Sunday the High is supposed to be 29, and the low is 4. FOUR!! Are you kidding me?! Four degrees? I'm from Texas where the Low in the dead middle of winter is MAYBE 40. Maybe. I think I'm probably losing my mind with the whole Wanting-To-Stay-Here idea. I'm still tossing it around in my head. The view might be worth it. Might be. It's supposed to snow Saturday, which is the day of Patricia's baby shower. That's what I want to see.

Deralynn seems to be enjoying herself. She likes going outside. I usually bring her in when her widdle nose gets all pink. I let her warm up a bit, and then let her go back out. She likes it outside. She likes Patricia too! Which is a good thing, I'm assuming.

She has a photography business and she's doing a photo shoot for a two-week old baby right now who is just absolutely ADORABLE. :) Deralynn is enjoying the baby, too. She likes babies. That's a good thing since there will be one around all the time come March. Excited!

On the down side, this baby is giving my sciatic nerve a workout. When I try to take the weight off my right leg, my hip goes into spazz mode and I freeze up. I look like a dork with my arms all curled in and a weird look on my face. I'm pretty sure it's a boy, but we won't get to find out until December. Bummed, but I will eventually know! This baby is also giving me an insane case of heartburn. Constantly. All the time. Even after water. I have already started eating Tums like candy. I didn't have to do that with Deralynn until I was about 30 weeks.

Another down side to this trip - I pulled my laptop out for the first time in like six months. Internet works fine, which is great, except that my laptop overheats. Bad. And the AC Adapter has something wrong with it so it doesn't charge my battery. So basically I have a portable desktop - It's useless unless I'm near a wall outlet. Of course, I have had this laptop since my junior year in high school. It's been through three different states with me. It's made it through a toddler jumping on it all the time. It's a pretty strong little fella. I was thinking about getting a new one, but with how often I don't pull this one out, another laptop would end up with the same fate. I just don't use it enough to really merit getting another one. And besides that, Trey has a pretty new one that works just fine. We can just use it when he gets back.

That's another awesome thing! I get to see Trey for Thanksgiving! =D Super duper excited! And this will be a little TMI, but I'm pretty sure that if I wasn't already pregnant, I would end up that way on Thanksgiving weekend. ;)
His sergeant that's in charge is screwing him over pretty badly. It's getting to be more frustrating than anything. We will eventually get the situation fixed. But I still hate the Army.

:) My babygirl is getting so big. She keeps running up from down stairs screaming "MOMMY!" to make sure I'm still here, and when she sees me, she gets a big smile and says "Hi!" then gives me a kiss and runs back down stairs. Haha, she's so cute! She did really well on the flight to Colorado. She was grinning through takeoff, slept through the flight, and then when she woke up she was smiling through landing. :) No crying or fussing. She's amazing! I love her so much!

I could seriously type random little things all day. I haven't done much but I'm already in love with Colorado. I would love to just sit and stare out the window and see mountains topped with snow for the rest of my life. It's always beautiful.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Baby News!

Here's the deal.

November 7th, Deralynn and I will be flying to Denver, Colorado. I will be staying in Craig with a friend I haven't seen in 6 years! She is having a baby shower on the 10th, which is the whole reason I'm going in the first place. I will be there for the rest of the month.
On Thanksgiving, we will get to make a quick 6-hour drive (Yes, I said quick. I prefer 6 to the ever-boring 11- or 16-hour drives) to Salt Lake City, Utah to pick up my husband! He and I will find out the gender of our baby then. Here's how.

November 6th, I have a regular doctor appointment with my OB/GYN. On that day, I will also have an ultrasound to determine the gender of our baby. :)
They will NOT show me the gender, but they will put the gender pictures into a sealed envelope. I will be taking that sealed envelope with me to Colorado so when I see my husband, we can open the envelope together and find out what we will be having! Exciting, right?!

I'm stoked. Extremely. It's going to be super hard though, because I will have to keep it a secret from everyone back home, because we will be having a Gender Revealing Party!

Not sure when yet... But we will definitely be doing something that awesome. Not a baby shower but more of just the gender party. It's so exciting!

That's the only update at the moment. Keep checking, periodically, to see if I have updated more. I will definitely be keeping everyone posted!

Monday, October 22, 2012

It's Okay Everyone! She's gone! *phew*

Here's a little insight into the last few days of my hectic, crazy, absolutely insane life.

According to my ever-so-nice grandmother, I'm now an abusive parent no better than my mother because I'm stressed about my husband being in Utah, and wouldn't give her the details to my bank account.
... Seriously?

Okay. Let me explain.

This crazy ass woman was asking me about my bank account. Some things happened with the Army that my husband ended up having to deal with. Nothing serious. Said thing got resolved, so I started getting happy. This woman starts getting nosy and asking me what I was so happy about. I started to try to explain it to her, and she starts arguing with me about how it's supposed to go and how my husband isn't supposed to be the one to deal with these things. I keep trying to explain to her, but she just gets mad at me and thinks she knows everything because she is a wife to someone in the NAVY and not the ARMY.
So Mrs. I-Know-Everything stomped off saying "Fine, get screwed over!"
I retort with "Fuck you, I know what I'm talking about. Stay out of my business anyway."

Before this, however, she went to my OB/GYN appointment with me. I don't know what my daughter's problem was (I'm thinking that it was the vile woman I brought with me) but she started screaming and hollering and not minding me and just being a very mean two-year-old. It happens, I know. So I take her in the hallway. My hands are full, so I grab her by her arm and lift her up to take her through the door. Once out the door, I set her down. I put my stuff down on the bench in the hallway, pick her up again, and walk her to the bathroom to sit her down and talk to her. I was crying at this point because Deralynn is screaming and the other patients in the waiting room were already annoyed from the office being two hours behind. So I take her into the bathroom, set her on the sink counter, and stare her in the face and talk to her. She had sort of calmed down by this point. I relaxed a little because I had been telling her rather loudly to stop, pulled myself together, gave her kisses and went back to the hallway.
As soon as she saw vile woman, she started acting out again. So Vile Woman took her to the car and drove her around so I could get to my appointment.
Vile Woman is MAD at me at this point and telling me I need to calm down and stop yelling at her and abusing her.
... Seriously? Abusing her? How was I abusing her? Grabbing her up by her arm is not abusive. Getting loud with her (NOT talking down to her. I never talk down to my child. Ever. She's a smart, beautiful, very talented girl and I tell her that every day) is not abusive. Nothing I did that day was abusive.
However, Vile Woman goes to Facebook. Puts on her wall that I was abusing my daughter and everyone in the doctors office saw it and they were giving me dirty looks and she was worried one of them was going to call CPS and that she saw it first-hand.

At this point, I'm fucking livid. Absolutely pissed.

She texts me the next morning asking if I'm bringing Deralynn to the parade, and asking if I was going to stop yelling at her.
I told her to fuck off, and take that shit off of Facebook. I said she would never see my daughter again and that I could raise her just fine without her. I also told her that I hope the disease she GAVE HERSELF kills her. Mean? Yes. I know. But this is the last time this woman does this to me.

Here are the Messages from here on.

Her: "You need to get over your stress about trey"
Me: "I'm not stressed about him. You need to keep your fat nosy ass out of my money business. You don't need to know anything about his back pay or his active status. I hope that disease you have kills you."
Her: "It's not the first time you've used get to hurt me in not gonna fight with you."  (Remember those lines, people) "Yesterday you successfully alienated your friends who care about you. I LOVE YOU. but if you want me dead you got it. I survived what they did to me for you Ashley and deralynn you don't need me so I'm out of here. Goodbye"

Me: "Bye."

Her: "I'm gonna kill myself and its your fault live with it"

Me: "Oh, woe is me."

Her: "You are a hateful bitch no better than. Your mother"

Me: "Okay."
Her: "You use people until they piss you off I've had enough of being used. You still owe grandpa all the money we given you guys to help you 2 out with cars and insurance and rent. You can't go around using people and not expect to have to pay them back."
Me: "Okay."
Her: "Grandpa didn't mind because he loves deralynn and he likes trey but you he doesn't trust because you keep doing this. You are not stable mentally"
Me: "Okay."                          --Remember she said she wasn't going to fight with me?--
Her: "I'm getting rid of every baby thing you have stored here and NO YOU CAN'T COME GET IT. I'm getting rid of all memories of you and your children."
Me: "Lol. Okay."
Her: "I'm not opening my heart up again to a cold hearted bitch lime you again  Fuck you"
Me: "Okay."
Her: "You might as well have been Michaels daughter your just like hi."
Me: "Okay, if you feel that way."
Her: "Yes I can't let myself be hurt by you anymore and ALL of your friends are gonna get tired of your bullshit too. You have hit me, kicked me, slapped me. Got the school to call CPS on me. Told me to die. Kept your baby from me. And yet I forgave you. Well forgiveness doesn't come easy mow and your daughter is the one who's gonna suffer. Ashley told me what I witnessed yesterday isn't the first time you've done her that way"
Me: "Okay."

Couple days later,
Me: "From this point forward, please do not contact me in any way, shape, or form, or I will be forced to file harassment charges. Thank you."
Her: "Fuck off."
Me: "Okay."
Her: "You are dead to me do not text me again you will NOT treat me like this ever again"

--- End of Conversation -- 

I told her to not contact me in any. At all. And she's been getting people to tell me things from her.
I'm keeping record of all of it, and I'm filing charges on her.
I'm hurting her? Constantly?
Funny, when I finally started talking to her again after she got pissed off at me for leaving the Army, I told her that I was done with the drama. One more time and we were done. She did it again and I'm done. But yeah, that's only the first couple days.

Then about two days ago I went to the ER for this horrible pain I was feeling in my more-than-nether-regions. NOT. FUN.
I thought it was baby's position when I woke up that morning. It kindof hurt but not extremely, so I just let it go. The longer the day went, the worse it got. Finally at about 5pm I went to the ER and got taken to labor and delivery to make sure it wasn't contractions.
.... Trust me. It's not contractions. I've had them.

Well, after Tylenol #3 (The good stuff) and some Antibiotics, I had to pee. REALLY BAD.
Turns out it was a kidney stone. A rather large one. -.-
Sucked. I never had the back pain that goes with kidney stones. Never had any signs or symptoms. It just hurt in my girlyparts and that's all I knew... But it's out. I'm on antibiotics to make sure there is not any infection or anything.

I'm going to call my husband now. I have more to type about my ideas for the beebee, but I'll get to those later.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Officially Facebook Free!

Facebook is gone. Too much drama.
There is always someone who thinks everything is about them. No matter what it is.

Facebook asks: "What is on your mind?"
My answer: "It's days like these that I need you. Here. Not across the country. Fuck you, army. Just fuck you."

Somehow that translates into: "My Dr. Appointment fucking sucked and I need every single person to ask me if I'm okay!"

In reality, that post had nothing to do with the doctor (Why the fuck would it?), anybody involved in the doctor, or any specific person, for that matter. The only person who should have been asking me anything was my husband, who in fact, I was talking to at the time.
When I got asked how it was, I replied with "It was fine."
And apparently that means I have an attitude and every body I know is going to get mad because I don't want to go into little bitty details.
Funny, I got called a hypocrite, too. By the person who I thought was my best friend.
Let me explain.

When people get on Facebook, they put statuses like "I wish I had someone to talk to."
And when they get responses like "I'm here, what's wrong?"
They answer, "I don't want to talk about it."

What. The. Fuck.

So when I put the status about the Army, apparently I'm trolling for sympathy. You know what? Here's the fucking conversation.

So-called friend: "Hey everything ok? How'd the Dr appt go?"
Me: "It was fine."
friend: "O ok well I'm just checking on u Bcuz of ur post earlier."
Me: "If I wanted to talk about it I would have."
friend: "W/e Jessika I wad just worried abt u but don't worry I won't make tht Damn mistake again"
Me: -Completely dumbfounded, by the way- "You and all the other goddamned nosy people can leave me the fuck alone. If I wanted to talk about the shit I would have said something. It has not a damn thing to do with you or anyone else. So the attitude that you just got with me can kiss my ass."
friend: "I was just checking on u, and u got attitude first, I was worried abt u I would've let it drop if u had just sd I'm fine and u know tht, I'm sry if u r pissed @ the Damn world but i did nothing t u and know it and if u didn't want ppl asking if u were ok u shouldn't have posted it on Facebook. U always point tht out to other ppl..."
Me: "Did you not see the IT WAS FINE part of the message? And no, you read it as attitude. So check yourself. Then fucking try again."
friend: "Whatever... I'm done"
Me: "I have no idea what the fuck crawled up your ass, but if you read the post completely instead of being nosy it says FUCK YOU ARMY. I figured anyone with common sense could figure out what the problem was."

What's funny is this, I do point things like that out on other people's Facebook. However, only if they're trolling for attention. I was not trolling for attention. I did not ask anyone to comment, I did not ask anyone to talk to me and I did NOT fucking say I was having a goddamned bad day. I'm just tired of it. Other people starting drama for me. I'm done with it.

I'm leaving for Colorado on November 7th, and to be completely honest, I don't know if I'm coming back. I hate it here. I'm tired of everybody trying to fucking tell me how to raise my child and what I should and shouldn't do in public. I'm tired of getting fucking yelled at because I'm just a soldier's wife and can't do shit about the problems that my husband's unit has. I don't feel ENTITLED to shit like your old ass does! 

"Waa! Navy Wives don't get any kind of help from the Navy for schooling!"

No. You don't. Why the fuck would you? You didn't get up and get deployed and defend our country. You didn't sign up, why would the Navy give you help for school? According to the military, all you do is suck the dick of a sailor. (Or soldier, or marine, or airman, or whatever branch your spouse is in.)
So stop telling me what I need to go do to get our shit straight. It doesn't matter what I do. I'm just a fucking civilian to the military and they don't want my opinion. Stop feeling so entitled to shit that you didn't earn, and stop telling me what I need to do to get it straight. There's nothing I can do. Being a military wife is NOT the hardest job in the military. Trust me. I've been on both sides. Being the wife is NOTHING compared to leaving your family for months at a time with a possible chance of not coming back. You don't know that feeling. I don't know that feeling. Only the SERVICE MEMBER knows that feeling. You want to earn some shit? Get off your ass and do it. It's that simple. Really.

The members of our military are already getting fucked around with enough. They really don't need your cranky, I-Want-Everything-He-Gets ass getting in the way.

Friday, October 5, 2012

It Almost Rips My Heart Out

You've seen the movies, right? The Delta Force guys or whatever. They get a call that they have to go. It never says where, how long, or why. For some reason, I feel like one of their wives right now. However, there are major differences.
Let me explain the problem.
Trey is in the Army Reserves. Basically, he has to hold down a real job while Active Duty does whatever they want because they can't get "fired."
Cool, whatever. He has a good job. It pays well. His unit doesn't have any more slots for a 25S, which is his MOS. I'm not explaining that part. Look it up. He has to re-class to another MOS. He chose 25B. (Again, look it up.)
He got a call Thursday morning saying that his classes were scheduled. Cool.
They told him that the flight was scheduled and everything on the Army side was taken care of. Even better.
They told him that he would be leaving Friday morning at 11AM for Salt Lake City, Utah. What the fuck?

So now our Thursday is spent frantic trying to get his boss to approve the leave ON a day that he was scheduled to work. We have to get everything for the car taken care of. We have to make sure his hair is in regs. We have to make sure everything is going to be okay on my end for the next couple of months. Fucking... Fantastic... 

Luckily, he got paid yesterday, so money wasn't an issue. 

We drove to the airport this morning. (Well, I drove.) We went to the gate with him and hugged and kissed and what-have-you, and he was gone. 
It was so fast, really.
We didn't have time to eat together like planned. We didn't get to sit at the terminal with some time to wait and hang out. It was just there, through security, to the gate and then they were boarding. -.-

I didn't have time to cry. I haven't had time yet. I don't even know if I will. I have a few months for it to kick in.
Phase one is 22 days, Phase two is 22 days, and he won't get orders for Phase three until he's in Phase 2. So there is no telling how long he'll be gone.

Fun, right?
It sucks. I'm trying so hard to be strong for my baby girl, because she doesn't understand that daddy will be gone for a long time. That is the part that hurts.

I can't do this.

Monday, October 1, 2012

No Fun For You, Missy!!

How do I explain this one? Well, how about I just start at the beginning.

Last Wednesday, I was sitting in the library. My morning classes were over, and I was just waiting for my evening class. I was writing a paper, and was just about to start on my speech that was due. I'm 16 weeks pregnant, so when I gotta go pee, I gotta go NOW. Well, that feeling hit. I went to the bathroom and I saw the most horrifying thing a pregnant woman will ever see during her pregnancy...

A lot of it...

I almost immediately started crying. I called Trey, who was at work. I told him. He said, "Okay, let me wrap this up and I'll be there."
I started walking back to the library, and my foot came out from underneath me. I hit the ground, so of course at this point I'm crying. I walked back into the library with tears running down my face to get all my stuff packed up to leave. The librarian noticed the tears and immediately ran up to me and gave me a hug. I told her what was going on and she let me sit in a back room out of the middle of the public eye.

Fast forward, Trey shows up. I get to the car. We get to the ER. They do another ultrasound. The technician was going to tell us the sex of the baby (without us having to pay $100), but the feet were in the way so she couldn't get a good view. Butthead Baby. Anyway, after the ultrasound she walked out. About two minutes later, she walked back in WITH THE DOCTOR. Red flags went off. The Doctor never comes in with the technician unless there is something wrong.

We were right. He tells us that there is bleeding around the placenta that looked recent. In other words, that was where the bleeding was coming from.

I knew I wasn't losing my mind. They gave me bed rest until I got in to see Dr. Cooke. They told me to go to his office first thing in the morning and see what they say. When we got there, they did another ultrasound. (This is the third one in a week. I had one the Friday before the incident.)

According to his techs, they couldn't find where the bleeding was or had been coming from. To them, everything looked absolutely normal.

Which is a good thing, right? Well, yes and no. A good thing, because that means there is no more bleeding. A bad thing, because they don't know what caused it, so they don't know if it's going to happen again.


He took me off bed rest but gave me two weeks of pelvic rest, which means no sex. WHAT?!

Are you kidding me?!

Well, if it's for the health of the baby, I guess I can follow that. But that SUCKS!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Their Little Soldier

~Rest In Peace, Little Guy. The World Misses You.~

Colton Micheal Palmer
May 13, 2012 - January 27, 2013

He fought a long, hard battle with a smile on his face everyday. He will never be forgotten.

The Beautiful Family! Daddy, Colton, and Mommy

Their little soldier is this cute guy in the middle! Colton Michael. He was born six weeks early and weighed in at just five pounds on May 13, 2012. Greatest Mother's Day Gift Ever! And as happy as any parent would be with a new child, it hasn't always been easy. Colton was born with a disorder called Biliary Atresia (Bill-E-ary Uh-TREE-sha). Biliary Atresia is a condition in which the bile ducts in the liver do not work correctly, causing the bile to stop flowing correctly, which causes a backup of bile. Bile is necessary for the digestion of foods, and to keep the pH level ideal for the small intestines. In his four months, he has gone through more things in his life than anyone I can think has gone through in years. He has had multiple surgeries, IV's and antibiotics, and lots of time spent in hospitals. With lots of family and friends hoping and praying for him, he has more support than his little heart will ever know.

Colton's condition was noticed in just the first few days of his life. He was extremely jaundice, so his doctor did a liver biopsy. This is what helped to diagnose him.  At three weeks old, Colton underwent the Kasai procedure. The Kasai procedure is a surgery in which the small intestines are attached to the liver directly to help with the flow of bile. Colton's bilirubin levels were multiple times higher than they were supposed to be. Normal bilirubin levels are between 0 to 0.3 and 1.9mg/dL. Colton's levels were at 6.4mg/dL. The first month of his life, he stayed at a hospital on antibiotics through IV's in his arm. They eventually moved the IV to his head, because his arm was getting really red.
The Kasai operation

All Smiles!
His first month of life was spent at the hospital. During this time, he had the two surgeries: Biopsy and Kasai procedure. He was home until last month, when he was readmitted because of a rise in his bilirubin levels. He needed his antibiotics again. Two weeks later, he was sent home with the antibiotics. About two weeks ago, he went back because of a fever, and to see why his levels went back up. He had another surgery on September 13, to double check the procedure and make sure scar tissue was not blocking anything. If there was nothing blocking it, Colton would need a liver transplant. After the surgery, this family was told that there was, in fact, scar tissue blockage, and after it was removed, there was bile flow.
This is GREAT news, because that means that four-month-old Colton Michael does not need a liver transplant!

The most amazing thing through all of this (Besides the countless amounts of family and friends supporting this family) is that Colton never lost that beautiful smile of his. Even from the very beginning, he was always smiling, and he always puts a smile on everyone's face around him. He's a strong fighter, and he has more supporters and fans than he'll ever know what to do with. :)

I think I'm his biggest fan! (Next to his parents, of course!)

*All photos of Colton and his family are courtesy of Chris and Stephanie Palmer*

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

I Got An A!

So I have noticed that the past couple of posts have been sad, albeit important, ones. Today, or rather tonight, I am going to change that. :)

I just got out of my math class. I'm sitting at the college right now doing absolutely nothing but blogging. I will probably have facebook up before I finish this blog, just so I can get ideas about what to write.
I did my speech this morning after working on it all of twenty minutes Monday. I got an A! There was a video that he recorded, too. It's me looking like a dork. He said I talk too fast, and that my movement was a little crazy. I should probably look at the audience a bit more instead of at my paper. And I need to stop saying "um."

I don't know if it has sound on it. He says it does, but all the computers at the college have the sound turned off, so I haven't officially heard it yet. If it doesn't have sound, someone should let me know, so I can let Mr. Gernand know that I can't judge my voice or anything because of the "no audio" problem. And yes, I said judge myself. We have to evaluate ourselves on how we think we did on our speeches. And he says we cannot be too harsh on the other speakers or ourselves. ..Yeah right..

I don't even know if the video will play. I just posted it so everyone can see what a dork I am in class. By the way, we were giving speeches about ourselves; pretty much just introducing ourselves to the class. We've only been in class for like three weeks now, but for only two days a week. And the second Monday was a holiday, so really for only five days. We're still getting to know each other. I sit at the same desk every day, though. That's my little corner. I can get to the door when I need to, or I can hide if I need to.

Actually, I think I need to  find a new blurb, too. Blurb. A current event, or news article, that is approximately fifteen to twenty seconds long to tell the class. It's supposed to be some type of "not be scared of being at the podium in front of people" exercise. I'm really not sure how well it works. I can tell myself that it's only for twenty seconds and just talk like I'm a news anchor and get it over with. Everyone else still does the whole "jittery" thing. I'm not saying I'm not nervous, because I am, and my body language shows it (Look at the video), but I can get up there, say what I need to say, and get over it before it becomes a problem.

There is a girl in there who is so ... outgoing? That may not be the right word. She's just always the first to volunteer or the first to say something. She's really sweet. I talked to her in the lunch line the other day. She's nice. She's just a lot braver than I would be if that were me in that situation. I won't be the first to volunteer for a speech. I usually wait until Mr. Gernand starts doing his "Speech going once, twice, going, going, going, going.... " for a few seconds, and THEN I will stand up and get up there.

Just get it over with... I tell myself.
..Please. As if it's that easy.
He's really an easy teacher to pass. He's really weird himself. He will make funny noises and stuff to try and lighten the tension in the room. It's cool, though. He talks about how he's a speech instructor and STILL hates being in front of people speaking.

And reading from the book doesn't suck like with most teachers. He will read it kindof from our point of view. Not word for word, and he gets to the point rather quickly. I think the longest we have spent on a chapter is about thirty minutes.

Today is Deralynn's official twenty-month day. She is four months away from being two years old. Do you realize how FAST that is? I can't believe she is already two! She's starting to talk, and she learned how to jump. She's also learning how to nod her head 'yes.' This girl is seriously my whole world. I want to go home and see her, but she is at her GiGi's right now. I'm thinking about maybe going to get her tonight and keeping her at home with me, but at the same time, Trey and I will have a night alone. And I would say that we might end up baby-making, but I'm already doing that, so that's off the list. We could probably watch movies. DANGIT!
I forgot to take the Redbox's back. Jeeze. They're going to be like $20 each by the time I get them turned back in. I don't know why Trey rented them right before he went to drill. He usually watches them, and I end up going to bed, because I don't feel like staying up watching a movie that I'm sure I will see later in life when I'm not so damn tired. Meh. To each their own. Anyway, it's like 40F in the library, my fingers are frozen, and I'm officially out of things to write about. I will blog again eventually.

I really miss my internet. I can do this at home with internet. Without it, I have to get my fix whenever I am at the college or Grandma's house. Ugh.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

11 Years Later...

Do you remember where you were when it happened?
Do you remember what you were doing?
Do you remember?

September 11, 2001 - I was in the fifth grade. We had just switched classes, and I walked into my English class to find the teacher crying. Crying? Seriously, what teacher cries at school? I remember thinking "If something is bothering her, she really shouldn't be at school. She should go home and deal with her stuff before coming to school all teary-eyed." I had no idea what she was crying about. However, I do remember the conversation in class that we had that morning. I remember turning on Channel 1 News for the school.

Teacher: "Some of you probably have no idea what is happening this morning. Some of you are going home early today."
Class: .... -silence-
Teacher: "This is history. Watch." -Turns on Channel 1 News.-

And then there it was. I was too young to realize what it was. All I saw was smoke. Lots of smoke. And a building on fire. I didn't know what the significance of the building was. I didn't even know what a terrorist was. How was I supposed to know that we were under attack and that the entire country was at a heightened awareness? How was I supposed to know that this was something to be afraid of? I seriously thought it was just a really tall building on fire.

I'll be honest with you. I don't think it ever really sank in about how serious an event it was.

So many people...
Children, even.
Not many, but enough. Too many.

And the death toll continues to climb, eleven years later. From Lung Diseases that are directly related to breathing in the dust and broken glass and ashes from the collapse of the towers.

That day was just horrible. Really. I seriously could talk about it all day, but I don't really need to. You understand.

Sunday, September 9, 2012


April 19, 1995

I was four years old. I'm not going to give a history lesson about what happened on this day, but I am going to tell you how it makes me feel.

When I was thirteen years old, my mom was living in Oklahoma. My siblings and I were with her for most of that summer. While we were there, we went and visited this "Oklahoma City Bombing Memorial," of which I had never heard of.

My first impression of the memorial was that it was absolutely beautiful...
I kept thinking that the shallow water was so clear, and the ducks that were floating in it were so cute! (I was thirteen and had no idea what I was witnessing.)

We kept walking through the memorial, and there were the two walls on each end of the pond. One says "9:01" and the other one says "9:03" -- The start and end of the tragedy.

I remember the chairs. One for each victim. 168 innocent people, not including the three fetuses of pregnant women. (I still think they should have had their own chairs. They're people too.) I remember the tree. The Survivor Tree.

The building across the street with this message painted on the side:

Team 5
We search for the truth.
We seek justice.
The courts require it.
The victims cry for it.
And GOD demands it!

It's amazing how one thing can hit you so hard. Even when you had no idea.

The chairs, the walls, the pond..
And then the one that really hit me. I cried.

The fence.

There are so many memorial items on this fence. From birthday cards, to American flags, to teddy bears. That is the hardest part. You look at those teddy bears and you just know that they are for those children. Some of those children were just beginning life. Three months old in some cases. How can that NOT bother the person that did this? How is it that he was okay with himself?

This fence. It hits hard. 

I believe that the reason it bothers me so bad is because I now have a child of my own, and one on the way. And when I think about it, there were children that were her age when this happened that didn't make it. There were women in the building that were pregnant like I am, and didn't make it. I know there is nothing I can do now that it has already happened, but it really does just ...
There's a feeling that it brings forth from within me. I don't know what that feeling is. I don't know if I will ever be able to describe it, or explain it, or even understand it for myself.

There are a lot of things about this day that bothers me. There are a lot of things about other tragedies like this that bother me.
Forced Death. I hate it. Someone is forced to die (murdered, assassinated, killed by surrounding damage)...
Things like that.
I hate it.

September 11, 2001.
Charles Manson.
Timothy McVeigh.
Oklahoma City Bombing.
Waco Siege.

I could go on and on. Seriously.

I hate it.

And now that I have thrown my feelings into a webpage that very few people will even look at, I am going to try to distract myself with happy things.
I'm going to sit in my bed tonight and think about everyone who has been victimized by these cruel hateful events...


Moody Goose.

Very moody. Have a problem with it? Tough.

So Fall 2012 Schedule goes as follows:

Monday/Wednesday 8AM:       ENGL1301 with Lewis
Monday/Wednesday 9:35AM:  SPCH1315 with Gernand
Monday/Wednesday 5PM:        MATH0408 with Reid
Tuesday 6PM:                            TECA1354 with Webster

English 1301 is Composition and Rhetoric. Speech 1315 is Fundamentals of Speech. Math 0408 is Intermediate Algebra. TECA1354 is Child Growth and Development.

I don't know the actual name of the TECA part of it, but I know that getting into that class is a little more difficult than usual because if they don't have enough students sign up, they will cancel the class, leaving me with more work I have to do on my schedule. I am getting financial aid, which is the only way I can actually afford the classes. Without financial aid I wouldn't be in classes at all, and I would be sitting on my butt doing nothing all day. Sucks, really.

I still have the homework to do for every one of these classes. I've just been too lazy this weekend to do it. I really don't want to get off my butt and get up to finish it. There's even a quiz tomorrow in math. Ugh.

Baby is giving me hell today. I really don't know what I did but Baby is NOT happy with me. My stomach hurts and I'm trying not to throw up everywhere...
I'm not used to pregnancy being this difficult. It was smooth-sailing with Deralynn. I didn't have any issues at all with the pregnancy with her. I remember the first ultrasound I ever got. She really was just a little peanut. I still have the ultrasound pictures. I actually still have the HPT from her, too... Somewhere...

I would love to continue to write for hours on end. Days, even. But life is calling, and I have to answer it. Meh. Another one of them days...


Saturday, September 8, 2012

Drill Weekend

I hate the Army. It's really a drag when I have to be by myself for an entire weekend while Trey is out dealing with the stupid shit of the Army. It really is a waste of time. Especially now that he makes more money in one day at work than an entire weekend for drill. It sucks. Seriously.  

I hate drill.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Let's Start Off On the Right Foot...

So yeah, I'm back in college classes! I actually got the Day Care taken care of too, so that I won't have to cancel my classes. :) I went in and told her that I can't go to class and will have to cancel them if she didn't get into the program, which was the truth of course, but I told her that anyway. She asked me her age and everything and I told her that our phone numbers changed and all that and I gave her all the information I needed to give her and so now we have a visitation appointment on the 6th and 7th, and she will start on the tenth! That's awesome! YAY!

We may have to delay getting TV and internet back though, because day care and rent come first. And I know that with the awesome raise that Trey just got, we're going to be doing awesome! If we can just keep it at what we HAVE to have. We will start working all that into in later. He's supposed to be getting a hefty check from the Army too. It's supposed to be the back pay for the year he was deployed and we were MARRIED that the Army seems to have forgotten. -.-

And the fact that he is a father to a 19-month-old (And soon to be another little one!!) so he was supposed to get the backpay for the BAH and the Family Separation Pay and the other kinds of pay that he was supposed to get tax-free while he was deployed. Now, I'm not expecting $10,000 But it better be more than a couple grand. It was a year. Making a shit-ton of money. Tax free. It was definitely a big chunk of change. So we still have that to look forward to.

With the daycare, and the rent, and gas, groceries and stuff, we can make it on what he is making now. PLUS the $200 for drill every month. We definitely can make it if we limit ourselves. And when the back pay comes through, we throw it into savings and use it SPARINGLY. Like, only when we need to... EVER.

Lowe's is finally getting the insurance taken care of. Finally getting everything we need for all that fixed. We are finally going to be getting out from under the poverty line! I don't like it. Being all "Maybe we'll pay rent instead of this" stuff... No fun...

But if I had to do it again, I would do it with Trey. I wouldn't have it any other way. At all. He's my everything, and I know I don't tell him that I love him enough. I need to tell him more.

But like I was saying, Trey is going to be a daddy again! And this time he will be home for the whole thing! I won't have to worry about him not making it home from deployment in time. He'll get to come home and be with the baby every night from work. And by that point the Fall 2012 Semester will be over, and I will be finished with classes, so I won't be missing anything! It works perfect, actually. I can always come back to school. Maybe once Deralynn is in school herself, that way I'm only paying for daycare for one kid. :)

How awesome would that be?
Anyway, I'm only about 10 weeks along, and I'm still feeling a little icky right now. I actually might have to go throw up here in a second... Yeah...

Anyway, glad everyone read this (Even if you didn't read it) I still enjoyed sitting here typing it. I love typing. :D


:) Bye now.


Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Sex Is Like Math...

It is definitely been weird. Kayla moved in, which is cool. Deralynn is 19 months old...  And she is going to have a baby sibling! Fun! The only issue is the insurance. There's been so many changes in the last few weeks that I just don't know what to do. It hasn't been "confirmed" yet, which is good because the insurance can't classify it as a "pre-existing" condition. Which it wouldn't be anyway, because of HIPAA. But anyway, I'm going to be starting classes again. I figured out what I wanna do finally! Early Childhood Development - Infant/Toddler Specialist... And there is a degree that I can get with it too, which is AWESOME! School starts August 27th, and I had a friend from there who moved to Houston, so they won't be there anymore. BUMMERRR. But it's all good. I will make more friends, and besides, school isn't about friends. It's about learning! And then I can use it to get a job in a Day Care or something, or start my own, or something or whatever. I could get a job with it. Then we would be making more money, which would be fantastic.

Trey got a raise. A 42% raise, actually. Which is freakin' sweet. It's nuts. He works at Lowe's and he doesn't hate it but it isn't necessarily his favorite. He now makes more money going to Lowe's for two days, than taking two days off to go to drill. So now going to drill would be obsolete. He would be losing money. Which is really fantastic. (Not really, that was sarcasm.)

So, I want to keep typing and saying random things, but I really am running out of stuff to say. Our cell phones are turned off... I used to blog from my phone. But since we don't have AT&T at the moment, I cannot blog. However, even if we were to get them turned back on, I couldn't blog anyway, because someone got something in my phone and there is this huge wet spot on my phone and the battery won't charge, which means the phone won't come on. So there goes my blogging on my phone...  Sucks. But whatever. I'll blog when I can.

Speaking of blog...
Did you know that the word "Blog" came from Weblog? Someone was going to start calling it We-Blog, or just "blog" for short. So now, it's just blog. I didn't know that. I just found that out. I read it somewhere like last week... Pretty crazy, right?

And speaking of crazy,
Deralynn is starting to talk. She goes around all day "Mama MAMA! mamamamaa! Mama!"
Or whatever... And then this morning she woke up, and said "Bite?" So I made her some cereal, but I left it dry. She got mad, so I asked if she wanted milk, and she said "Yeah!" And started doing her little arm-flapping excited little hyperventilating thing. It's so cute. So I put milk in her cereal and she was happy. Then a few minutes later she grabbed a diaper so I could change her, saw the Mickey Mouse on the front and said her little version of Mickey Mouse, then pointed to the tv. I asked her if she wanted to watch it and she did the arm-flapping excited little hyperventilating thing and said "Yeah!!" Made me feel bad though, because we don't have cable, so we have been watching movies for the last two months and it is starting to drive me crazy.

Anyway, my belly hurts. Baby (Which BETTER be a boy because of how sick I am) is hungry, so I have to feed him. :)

Monday, June 4, 2012

Chicken Little!

just wanted to update. But had nothing to say. Here's a cute baby! I love you, Deralynn!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

April Fools... ?

So, a few days ago was April Fools, right? 
Well, I figured I would jump on the bandwagon and say "I'm pregnant!" Like everyone else. However, I did it like I was ACTUALLY pregnant, and put when I was due, threw some names in there with the initials AF (April Fool). Like Allison Francesca [which I kindof like, I might add] and Arthur Frederick IV [Which, for those who know us, is not Trey's middle name]. I figured SOMEONE would realize that it was an April Fool's joke. But we pulled it off so well that some people were actually believing it. In fact, everyone. I told Dot. She knew it was fake but she played along.

So then today I had to let everyone know (People were still congratulating me) that it was an April Fool's joke, and that as glad as I was that everyone was excited, we are sorry to disappoint. Not right now, but eventually, yes. We will have another.

Bummer. I was hoping it really would just be a little joke. Goodness. 

Anyway. I'm writing a subculture paper on 'ARMY WIVES' and it's really turning out a lot harder than it seems it would. There's so much to write about. I just can't get it into words, and it's driving me MAD! Ah!

So, I'm going to get back to writing my paper and I will see how it turns out later. Hopefully it will be great enough to read and re-read and maybe one day I will be able to publish a book on it. 

Hmm. I'm hungry.


Tuesday, April 3, 2012


So, I figured I would start fresh.
And here it is.

Well, I'm 21. (I don't remember everything from that birthday..)
I'm married. (His name is Trey!)
I have a 15 month-old daughter. (My whole world)
And I am currently attending Brazosport College. :D *Majoring in either Psychology, or Sociology, haven't figured out which yet.*

I left the Army. I will never do that stuff again. Trey is in though. He's in the reserves, and he just got back from Afghanistan in October. :) Life is pretty fantastic. 
I just started a new job. Today was my second day. 
Well, it's not really a new job. I've done it before. It's just at a new location. HEB in Angleton. I'm starting off as a bagger for these last two days, but I'm working on becoming a checker. I go to the classes Friday and then Monday and Tuesday. Woo! $9/Hour!

Anyway, today was crazy at work.
We had a lady come in, and she only had an $80 budget. Which is fine, it happens. Well, she bought this brisquet, thinking it was only $10, but it turned out to be $40. So she got mad about that, so I took it out of her things and we returned it, then she was able to get everything she wanted. Except for the Free Stuff in the MealDeal because she didn't buy the brisquet. Whatever. Anyway, she grabs a juice off the back of the checkstand and walks away with it, then puts it in the bag that I had stuff in already, and then walked away. I assumed that was stuff she wanted to keep, so I put it in her cart. Well, she comes back like 15 minutes later, and starts cussing at everybody because she didn't want the stuff that I put in her basket. She didn't want the juice and she started cussing at me saying "Well, I told that bagger that I didn't fucking with this shit, and I told that checker that I didn't want all this shit and they should have fucking figured this out already... blah blah blah blah fuck blah shit blah blah." Well, keep in mind, she also had this DOG inside the STORE. GROCERY STORE. Little baby miniature Doberman. It's a sanitary issue for animals, which is why we don't allow them in. She has this dog thing. Then she laughs at me like "haha, you're afraid of the dog!" And I said "No, I didn't see it and when I looked up there was this dog thing in my face." 
She continued laughing at me. 
But whatever.
Anyway, she starts cussing about how gas is "fucking $4 a gallon and you guys in here are fucking up my things and the manager should be doing better, since she obviously knows what the fuck she is doing or she wouldn't be manager. In fact, she shouldn't be manager" yadda, yadda, yadda. Cussing out the manager telling her that she needs to hurry up because her "fucking shit is melting in the car.."
And the girl she was with had her daughter running all over the place. And this little girl is playing by the door and she gets her arm stuck. Then AngryBitch starts screaming "SOMEBODY HELP! SOMEONE HELP HER AND NOT JUST STAND AROUND!" after the girl already got her arm out. And then on top of all that, Gary is just standing there trying to calm this woman down. And it's 2 o'clock. Time for me to be off work already. -.-

Anyway. Things got fixed, I had a shit-ton of returns to put away, and then it was all fine and dandy. I don't know what the hell this woman's problem was, but she drove me nuts. -.-

But that was my day. How was yours?